Things that are getting pretty chronic...
My complete inability to make decisions regarding my own life and plans, coupled with (justifiably?) low self-confidence, which in this house tends to lead to people getting all irate and frustrated, which doesn't help at all since I'm much better at making decisions when sitting quietly on my own rather than with someone pressuring me for an answer.
The length of my jeans - or conversely, of my legs. I'm sick of treading on them. My jeans, that is.
My avoidance of all things alcoholic, which has now led me to avoid ordering risotto in a restaurant because I now know that risotto is meant to be cooked in wine (needless to say when I cook it, it isn't). It's a ridiculous thing as well as being very difficult.
And the longer I stay here, getting to doubt that I'll ever get away (and getting fatter), the worse this is all going to get.
The length of my jeans - or conversely, of my legs. I'm sick of treading on them. My jeans, that is.
My avoidance of all things alcoholic, which has now led me to avoid ordering risotto in a restaurant because I now know that risotto is meant to be cooked in wine (needless to say when I cook it, it isn't). It's a ridiculous thing as well as being very difficult.
And the longer I stay here, getting to doubt that I'll ever get away (and getting fatter), the worse this is all going to get.
posted by Z31 at 8:28 am
4 Comments:
On the plus side, you're up nice and early.
I'm not sure advice is what you're after here, but it strikes me that maybe doing something, regardless of whether it turns out to be a good idea or not in the long run, might help. You can of course weigh up every decision you make, but perhaps an irrelevant, pointless part time job or charity work or something, even if it's just for a week, might make some kind of difference.
Feel free to ignore... :-)
TCH
but the alcohol evaporates off anyway... does this mean that you don't eat mince pies?
If you want my opinion (which you probably don't), things aren't going to get any better if your approach to dealing with problems is to write them up on the blog and then leave them. You can't guarantee every decision you make will turn out right, and frankly, the vast majority of decisions aren't so important they need to be paralyzing. Even at the level of starting a job, or taking up a university course, if it doesn't work out you can always quit. It seems to me that you're less worried about the consequences of your actions, and more with what people will think of you if you make a decision that turns out to be not so good. I should probably point out at this point that most people are so wrapped up in their own lives they basically don't give a shit about most of the stuff that goes on in other people's, so basically you can do what you like and most people won't even notice if you make a duff call. Basically, the world is your oyster if you look at it like that, and the only thing holding you back is your own fear, which you just have to ignore. The first time you do it'll seem shit scary, the second slightly easier, the third much easier, and before long things that once worried you become routine. Give it some thought.
While on the subject, give drinking a try, it's nothing like the devil people make it out to be.
Toby:
Something irrelevant and pointless might well be worth a go if the alternative is sitting at home doing things I could probably still fit into my day even if I was working. Especially now I've noticed how much money I can get even on minimum wage (in response to which, the voice in my head says 'nothing compared to what you'd be getting from a Proper Firm').
Sherry:
I don't think the avoidance was this bad last year - or maybe I've always made allowances for mince pies because it's Christmas. That said I've been avoiding sauces with 'wine' in for years, and I do recall proclaiming myself Unable to have Christmas cake/pudding last year on grounds of alcohol. Damn silly if you ask me.
Physics Boy, I believe:
I agree that decisions don't have to be hugely important; I never said it was only hugely important decisions I had trouble with though. I think it's rather unfair of you to suggest that what other people think is the most important thing in deciding what I do. I'd like to argue that almost everything I've ever done reflects something of a disregard for what other people think (take that as you will). What holds me back isn't fear as such, rather a chronic lack of confidence in myself, my actions, and my decisions.
As for the impotence of the 'blog and leave' approach, I'd firstly agree that I'm a compulsive writer of inappropriate blog articles, but then argue that you can't know whether I'm ignoring my problems, and indeed that I'm not, as in fact somewhat demonstrated by the fact that I posted this in order to reach most of my friends quickly, and then went out for four hours looking for solutions whilst my friends gave me their advice!
Next instalment of my exciting life coming up after I've made some tea...
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